Give me a break, Ego vs. Trust: What Separates Startup Teams That Thrive from Those That Stall

Balance scale graphic showing ego versus trust with icons and John and Janice in front of a pyramid

Lessons from 25 Years of Leading Teams in Tech, Media, and Publishing

What separates early-stage teams that thrive from those that stall?
In my experience, it often comes down to ego vs trust in startups.
People often go looking for a checklist—growth playbooks, go-to-market strategies, product frameworks. And while those things matter, the real answer runs deeper than tactics.

It’s about ego vs. trust, especially in the mindset of the founder or CEO.

Why Ego vs Trust in Startups Matters Early

Startups aren’t just smaller versions of established businesses. They’re fragile ecosystems of learning, risk-taking, and constant adjustment. Most people who join a startup do so not for the paycheck, but for the chance to build something that matters.

They sign up to help shape the product, the process, and even the culture. That’s part of what makes early teams so powerful—they believe they’re building it with you, not for you.

But this is exactly where things can start to go wrong.

The Ego Trap in Startups: When Founders Stop Listening

One of the most common failure patterns I’ve seen starts when a founder’s ego takes priority over trust in the team.

I’ve watched CEOs surround themselves with external advisors, fundraising mentors, and industry “experts”—all offering big-picture advice that feels more exciting than the hard, detailed work the team is doing on the ground.

Soon, the founder starts overriding the product team.
They bring back conflicting priorities.
They chase new features based on the loudest outside voice.
They stop listening to the people closest to the problem.

And here’s what happens next:

  • The team gets confused about what really matters.
  • Execution slows as priorities keep shifting.
  • Key contributors stop offering ideas because they no longer feel heard.

I’ve seen teams burn through millions in funding this way—not because the market wasn’t there, but because the team stopped believing in the mission and the process.

The Trust Advantage: Building Together

By contrast, founders who build trust create teams that move faster, learn faster, and stay committed when things get hard.

These founders know they don’t have all the answers.
They see their role not as the smartest person in the room, but as the conductor of the orchestra—bringing out the best in every player.

  • They create space for engineers to bring customer feedback to the table.
  • They validate team insights alongside outside perspectives.
  • They keep the team aligned not by dictating, but by guiding.

Traction happens when teams feel real ownership, they know their voice matters, and they trust that the hard work they’re doing is part of a bigger, coherent mission.

Why Ego vs Trust in Startups Applies to Every Team

While I’ve seen this most often in tech ventures, it applies far beyond startups. I’ve experienced the same dynamic in media production, publishing, and even in the team that helped bring Jack’s Story to life—a World War II memoir we published to honor my father’s service.

Editors, designers, marketers, and family members all brought ideas to the table. The project only came to life because we built trust across those teams—listening, adapting, and moving together toward a common goal.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re leading a tech startup, launching a book, or building a new community initiative, remember this:

Traction comes when teams are empowered to learn, build, and move together.
Stall happens when ego crowds out trust and alignment.

Here is a good article in Harvard Business Review when your boss drives on chaos, how do you deal with it to protect yourself

If you’ve seen this dynamic in your own work—or want to share your story—I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to drop a comment or reach out directly.

Let’s keep learning together.